I don't know what I need... I'm scared that there is such a large crack in my soul that at the slightest movement I could shatter into a million pieces unable to put back together and I don't know how to fix myself there are so many things I haven't gotten to deal with all this loss, plus all the other things that hurt on top of it that haven't been handled. just don't know what to do I can't heal in this state.... It's like a darkness is trying to take my sould and bury it... & I am so weak & broken I'm not sure how much longer I can fight it off... the weapons have been knocked from my hands, I'm bloodied & losing breath as the dark is standing over smiling, waiting to take it's final blow... this is what my soul is feeling while my body has to get up take kids to school, greet people, clean, do homework with kids, make food, find time for hubby, do taxes, pay bills, drive, run errands all with a pleasant smile that hides the battle being fought behind these eyes... it leaves my sould no time to fight...
It's those I love & consider precious is the reason I'm enduring but with this distinction between body & soul how long til the battle my soul is waging takes over the ability for my body to withstand the beating?
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